I really, really love my job as a homemaker. I recently had to fill out a form and it asked me for my occupation. I immediately circled "Homemaker". I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a wonderful mom who taught me so much and loved me. Not until you have children do you realize how much your parents really love you. It is an amazing thing how much love our hearts can hold for our children. I had David take this picture of me when we went to the lake last week. I love this picture because it shows who I am, my happiness with my children (in the background playing on a purple float) and my David. I feel so blessed to be a mom, more specifically, Summer and Forrest's mom. I have always known what an amazing gift being a mother is. I feel blessed that I understand that even though somedays seem monotonous, they are not meaningless. As mind numbing as unloading the dishwasher AGAIN can be or breaking up a fight, I still get the bigger picture. There really is nothing more important that I could be doing right now than raising our kids. Yes, I get burned out. In fact, David texted the other day and I was really quiet... he said, "Hey, where are you?" I didn't know if I should start laughing or crying but I texted back, "I am sitting in our garage on the floor... I needed a break and I am drinking a Coke". Yes, I have days that seem like they last for months but when I look at the kids asleep in their little beds, they are growing up too quickly! I feel blessed that I can stay at home with them and hug them and hold them tight when they are sad or happy. There is an amazing essay on motherhood from the author, Anna Quindlen, which I read recently. This quote from the essay has been on my mind lately.The biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this (being a mom). I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of my children sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less".
I try to whisper in my kids' ears throughout the day, "I love being your mommy". I said it to Summer the other night as I was putting her to bed. I thought she was asleep. She signed back to me, "I love being your Summer". Those are the moments that I will hold on to forever. That is what being a mom is all about. I adore these sweet little angels that I was given to care for. I dreamed that I would be their mom from the day they were born.
